He has become a cryptocurrency mascot, made three films, written a novel and floored an aikido team in the past year alone. Soon he will put his diplomatic skills to use for Putin
If you want an idea of just how committed Vladimir Putin is to fixing Russia-US ties, consider that he has appointed Steven Seagal as a special diplomatic envoy to the US. Seagal has held Russian citizenship since 2016, but is now elevated to a formal role by President Lulz. As the Under Siege legend put it himself: “I take this honour very seriously.”
Hey, someone’s got to. According to Russia’s foreign ministry: “The special representative will perform his duties without any financial remuneration and for the purpose of strengthening direct contacts, mutual understanding and trust between the Russian and American peoples.” Finally, the good kind of “direct contacts” – but go on. “The special representative will be involved in the preservation of memorial sites in the US that are somehow connected with Russia.” Places such as Don Jr’s hard drive, I guess, or Paul Manafort’s garden, where landscaping bills ran over $450,000 (£350,000) for four years.